


the real thing

by queenundisputed



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 22:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenundisputed/pseuds/queenundisputed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fact is, the Evil Queen hates him before she ever even meets him.<br/>(Or Neal makes an attempt at wooing the Evil Queen.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the real thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [homeskull_bob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/homeskull_bob/gifts).



> This is a gift for my tireless beta who has a (not so secret) love for this ship for reasons that may or may not include the fact that she's convinced this ship should be called Real. So in return for her editing work, I wrote her this little ficlet that she has insisted I now share with you (or as she says, the world). And then I threw in some background Captain Swan because I couldn't help myself. Enjoy!

The fact is, the Evil Queen hates him before she ever even meets him. It probably doesn’t help that, when they finally do meet in Neverland, he falls out of a box suspended in midair, lands on top of her, and sends them both sprawling onto the ground in a tangled pile of limbs. 

Never let it be said that he didn’t know how to make an impression.

She just picks herself up off the ground and brushes dirt off her coat, never once thinking to hold out a hand to him. When he finally climbs to his feet, she’s simply glares at him. 

“Really, Miss Swan, you have the worst taste in men. Ruffians and pirates, honestly,” she says and then proceeds to ignore him at every possible turn, and when she finds it impossible, she falls back on her glare.

And, boy, did he know why they called her the Evil Queen; if looks could kill…

He only sees her smile when she looks at Henry, and he knows that this woman is responsible for raising his son. Twelve years with the Evil Queen, and the kid hadn’t turned out so bad at all. 

She’s done what his father never could; she’s changed herself, as much as she can, for her son, and he’s not even biologically related to her. 

So, okay, maybe he finds himself just a little bit in love with her for that. It’s not like he planned it or anything. 

It was supposed to work like this: he and Emma were gonna play happy families because he loves Emma, Emma loves him, and they have a son. Except, as Emma was quick to let him know, it isn’t “in love” anymore. Which is fine. He had his chance, and he screwed it up; he can respect her for not wanting to go through it again. 

Which brought him right back to Regina, and really? He needed to stop falling for villainous women. That needs to not be his type. He shouldn’t be interested in people who don’t even bat an eyelash at murder. On that count, Regina’s record is even longer than Tamara’s he’s sure. 

But there’s just something about Regina that makes him want to see her smile. So he tries, really he does, to get her to crack a smile for him. It ends up being a lot harder than he thought it would be. All of his jokes fall flat. Emma tells him it’s because they aren’t funny, but she’s started to laugh at Hook’s jokes so she doesn’t really have reliable taste anymore apparently. 

But, hey, he has an ace up his sleeve: Henry, and it doesn’t count as a bad parenting move to use his kid to woo his mom. Especially if he asks first which he does. 

“Hey buddy, want to help your dad out with something?” he asks as he strolls down the street with Henry beside him. It’s his weekend so he gets Henry all to himself for two whole days. 

“Sure! Do we get to use swords?” Henry says, swinging his arms through the air, slashing like an imaginary sword. 

“No, but we can call it Operation Sword Fight if you want,” Neal replies, cramming his hands into his pockets and grinning down at his kid. He’s hit very suddenly with a rush of pride, and wow, he never wants that to stop ever. 

“Cool,” Henry says, grabbing a seat on a nearby bench. 

“So,” he continues in a stage whisper, “what are we planning? Do we need my walkie talkies?”

“I don’t think so,” Neal says. “It’s about your mom.”

“Emma? Is she okay? Are we planning a surprise for her?” Henry asks, his face pinched into a ‘I am thinking really hard about this’ frown. Neal knows this frown well. 

“Not Emma. Regina,” Neal says, and he waits, hoping for a positive reaction.

“Oh,” Henry says, and the pinched frown is still firmly in place. 

“Yeah,” Neal nods. “I like her.”

“Like... _like her_ like her?” Henry asks, wide eyed. 

Neal nods again, and Henry says, “Ew!” really, really loudly, but he’s laughing as he does it so Neal figures it’s probably a good kind of ew. 

“So you wanna help?” Neal asks because Henry has gone silent and pensive on him. 

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to go on a date with her,” Neal explains. 

“How can I help with that?” Henry’s feet are swinging back and forth where they dangle off the bench. Neal hopes it is because he’s eager to help. 

“Well, she won’t go unless you’re there,” Neal says. 

Henry sort of twists his mouth and wrinkles his nose which is cute for a kid, and it makes his plan a surefire success. 

“I don’t think that’s how a date works,” Henry says. 

“Well, you know, small steps. Your mom doesn’t know she likes me yet,” Neal says. 

“I don’t think she likes you at all,” Henry replies, and the little smirk on his face is pure Regina. It’s a little spooky. 

“Okay; don’t rub it in,” Neal says with a mock frown. 

“Don’t worry. She didn’t like Emma either, but she likes her now,” Henry says with a perfunctory nod that is probably supposed to make him feel better but definitely doesn’t. 

“Henry, yesterday she told Emma that a monkey could do a better job as sheriff,” Neal says with a look of disbelief at his son. 

“I think she was joking?” Henry ventures like he wants Neal to confirm that for him. 

“Her jokes need a little work,” Neal says with a shake of his head. 

“Small steps?” Henry asks, hopefully. 

“Really, really small steps,” Neal replies. 

“So what’s today’s small step?”

“Right, well, I think it should go down like this: you stand around and look reasonably adorable so that she doesn’t incinerate me on the spot, and I ask her to have lunch with us,” Neal says with a grand flourish. It’s pretty much a full proof plan, and he’s pretty proud of it. 

“Okay,” Henry says in response, dragging the ‘a’ sound out for way longer than strictly necessary. 

“What? It’s a full proof plan!” Neal hurries to defend. 

“If you say so,” Henry says with a roll of his eyes. 

“It’ll work, I promise,” Neal says. 

Henry looks at him for a long moment like he still isn’t sure. Then he says, “Okay. I’ll help.”

Neal punches his fist in the air. “Awesome.”

So they hop off the bench and head toward Regina’s house. 

“Are you nervous?” Henry asks.

“Oh yeah. She might turn me into a frog or something,” Neal replies. 

“I don’t think she does that,” Henry says. 

“Well, I hope not. I don’t think I’d like being green. I’m more of a blue person,” Neal says with a sideways look at Henry who only shakes his head. Did no one think his jokes were funny?

The walk to Regina’s home takes less time than he would have liked. All too soon, he’s standing at her door with his hand poised to knock. 

He hesitates long enough that Henry notices, puts his hand on Neal’s arm, and pats it awkwardly. 

“You can do it,” Henry says with an encouraging smile.

“Right,” Neal says, clears his throat, and knocks. 

So there; it’s done. No taking it back now. 

The door opens moments later, and there she is, glaring at him. 

“Can I help you?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Neal says, moving to the side just a little so that Henry was in her line of sight. 

And that gets a smile out of her. Her face lights up with hope just looking at Henry. 

“Henry?” she asks, like she’s afraid she’s only imagined him.

“Hi, mom,” Henry chirps with a smile. 

“So we were wondering if you wanted to have lunch with us,” Neal says, hoping for casual and quick enough that she doesn’t have time to get too distracted by Henry. 

Her smile dims only a little when she looks at him as though she wants to glare but found herself caught too off guard to do so especially when he’s offering something she wants so very much. 

She looks back at Henry for a moment and finds him still smiling at her. Neal is definitely buying Henry ice cream after this. He deserves it. 

He thinks, for a moment, that she’ll say no. That he’s managed to misjudge her somehow. But instead she says, “Yes, I would love to.”

The words come slowly like she’s afraid if she looks too eager it will all disappear in the blink of an eye. 

Neal leaps to disabuse her of the notion. “Great! To the diner then. Henry, lead on,” he says with a face splitting grin as he holds out his arm for Regina to take. She does but with a cautious expression mixed with disbelief. He’s pretty surprised she went for that move too, but he figures it’s just her inner queen coming out. 

Henry grins at them both and flashes Neal a thumbs up before trotting ahead talking about sword fighting again. The boy is a little obsessed, and if Neal hadn’t had a phase involving sharp object himself, he’d be a little worried. 

Regina leans closer to him, her lips next to his ear, and she whispers, “Thank you for asking.”

“No problem,” Neal says, looking over at her.

He finds her looking back, and for the first time she isn’t glaring at him. She’s got this look in her eyes like she’s reassessing him. So maybe that’s more of a big step as opposed to a little step. Operation Sword Fight is well under way, and he thinks his chances are definitely looking up.


End file.
